Waiting for Rosetta
by Nerdherder51
Summary: It's the third season of dating for Rosetta and Sled. According to "modern" fairy rules of dating, the third season is when it is acceptable to "do the deed." Tinker Bell and her friends are at the border waiting for her return to find out and end up talking about their own love lives in the process. Rated M for suggestive language and mature themes. One shot. Complete.


**WAITING FOR ROSETTA**

**Disclaimer: Tinker Bell, Disney Fairies and all related content are the property of The Walt Disney Company. The character of Tinker Bell originated by author J.M. Barrie. **

**This fan fiction is not for monetary gain. It is intended only for the entertainment of its audience.**

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"Any sign of her yet?" Silvermist asked.

"Not yet," Tinker Bell replied. She had been the first one to the border this morning. Last night Rosetta went on another date with her boyfriend Sled. It has been three seasons now and according to "modern rules of dating" in Pixie Hollow, the third season is when it is socially acceptable to consummate the relationship. The girls know that Rosetta probably won't tell them, but they intend to tease her endlessly about it.

"Oh, I wonder if she did it."

"Rosetta's a proper garden fairy," Tinker Bell replied, "so she might not."

"Oh, I can't wait to find out. The suspense is killing me."

"What's killing you? And can I help?" Vidia snipped as she joined the other two.

"We're waiting for Rosetta to come back from her date with Sled," Tinker Bell answered. "We want to find out if she finally did it."

"She stayed overnight. What do you think?"

"Rosetta has stayed in visitor accommodations before, Vidia, it's not like this is a foregone conclusion."

"Hey, can anyone join in?" Fawn asked. She and Iridessa joined up with their friends at the border between Spring and Winter. A root bridge crossed over the partly frozen river where the animals would cross back over at the end of their hibernation.

"So, we're all just going to wait here until she shows up to tell us if she had sex?" Vidia questioned. "Does anyone else find that kind of icky?"

"No," Tinker Bell replied.

"Uh uh," Fawn answered.

"I can't wait," Silvermist said excitedly.

"Well, now that you mention it? I guess it is," Iridessa said.

"You're welcome to go whenever you want, Vidia," Tinker Bell said. "If you don't like the idea of sitting here to greet our friend and yours on a momentous occasion, then by all means do something else."

"Who said I wasn't interested? I'm staying right here," she replied.

"I thought you said it was 'icky'?" Iridessa pressed.

"It is. But I've got half a smidge of dust on 'yes' and I want to know as soon as possible so I can collect."

"That's our Vidia," Tinker Bell said with a laugh.

"Have you gotten anyone to bet against you," Fawn asked curiously.

"I've got a few pigeons I can always count on," she answered.

"Vidia, birds don't get pixie dust, only fairies," Silvermist told her.

Everyone looked at Sil with that same "you can't be serious" look.

Fawn then put her right arm around the water talent and in a soft, but condescending voice said, "Sil, she doesn't mean actual pigeons."

Silvermist had to think this over for a minute. "O-oh, I get it now."

"Someone get her a brain," Vidia quipped.

"So who are these easy marks, Vidia," Tinker Bell asked.

Before Vidia could say anything, the cheeks in Iridessa's face turned flush and her expression became sheepish and foolish.

"Oh no! Please tell me you didn't?" Fawn said.

"Umm…,"

"She did," Vidia said, answering for the light talent.

"Rosetta is a prim and proper garden fairy," Iridessa answered. "I never thought she would go through with it. Not yet anyway."

Fawn and Tinker Bell just groaned and face palmed.

"Dess is applying her own sense of do's and don'ts to other people," Vidia explained. "It's why she's so easy."

"And what are you gossiping hens doing out here by the border at this hour?" asked a familiar, Lancashire accented voice. Fairy Mary approached. She carried a tea service for five and some pumpernickel muffins. "I don't know what you're doing, but I thought you could use some refreshments."

She put the service on a stump next to the bridge.

"Wait a minute. You're not waiting to find out if Rosetta did the deed? Are you?" she asked, scowling.

"Umm…, well," Iridessa started to say.

"Shut up!" Vidia growled.

"I can't believe it? How can you, her best friends, stand out here just so you can ask her that? It's downright repugnant. Whether or not Rosetta chooses to give herself to her beau is a private, personal matter. _Very personal_. And it's certainly no business of yours. I can understand Vidia being here with her devil may care attitude, and maybe even Fawn with her rough around the edges tomboyishness."

Fairy Mary glared at the light talent fairy. "But I expected so much more out of you Iridessa. Always the one who follows the rules, are we? Well it doesn't look that way to me. Shameful."

Iridessa could only droop her head and wings in disgrace.

"And you, Silvermist. So sweet and innocent and childlike."

"That's putting it nicely," Fawn whispered to Tinker Bell, who tried her darndest not to laugh.

"This is most unbecoming," Fairy Mary said, continuing to berate the water talent. "Wait till your superior hears about this."

Then Fairy Mary turned to Tinker Bell, one of her own. "And as for you young lady, I'm very disappointed. I thought I raised you better than this. You can rest assured there will plenty of extra work waiting for you in Tinker's Nook as your punishment for this unladylike behavior."

Fairy Mary turned to look at all of them and continued. "You disgust me. All of you with your filthy ways."

Vidia chirped up. "I'm taking bets on 'yes' or 'no'."

Furious, Fairy Mary indignantly tore into the fast flyer. "Did you not just hear what I said? I don't want to be party to any of this. _Why the vulgarity! The impropriety!_ ...what's the buy in?"

"Half a smidge," Vidia replied.

"_The immorality!_ ...what's the pay out?"

"One gets three for a 'yes'."

"_The profanity!_ …put me down for half a smidge on 'yes'."

"You got it," Vidia said writing down Fairy Mary's pseudonym on the betting sheet.

Fairy Mary then scowled at the girls once again. "You're nothing more than a snickering bunch of dirty minded children and I wash my hands of the whole lot of you. _Good day_!" she said drolly.

Fairy Mary turned back to Vidia and asked, "Same pick up place?"

"Same as always."

"I'll see you then." With that, she left.

"Wow! She really told us. I mean, she did? Didn't she?" Fawn said, bemused.

Tinker Bell was giggling. "She does that all the time."

**~O~**

Silvermist remembered the service and poured a cup. "Who want's tea?"

The other girls eagerly lined up for some hot tea and a piece of muffin.

"So, Tink," Fawn started, "speaking of relationships, how are you and Terence doing?"

Tink thought it over and answered with a simple, "Fine."

"Everything's okay between you two?" the animal fairy asked again.

"Yeah, were good."

"Have you two been…, y'know?"

"I said were fine," Tinker Bell replied sounding a little testy. After that, no one felt like talking.

Then Vidia broke the silence. "Tink's a screamer."

"HEY!" Tinker Bell shrieked. "I am not. And how you would you know, anyway."

"Sweetie," Vidia said, contempt dripping from her words, "the next time you and your 'boy-toy' want to have a quickie, don't do it in the chasm behind my sour plum home. Your voices carry."

"Oh…, right," Tink said looking a bit foolish. "Wait! No. Not alright. Everyone knows. Oh great, now I've been embarrassed in front of all of my friends."

"Embarrassed? Darling, you're not the one who had to spend almost an hour with a pillow crammed over her ears because you and Terence couldn't stop grunting and groaning and shrieking. '_Oh, Terence. Oh yes. Oh more, more, more…oh, oh, OH, OH…EEEEEEE!_' I'm the victim here. I've been scarred for life thanks to you."

"Grea-at," Fawn broke in. "Now we're all scarred for life."

"I've lost my appetite," Silvermist added.

"Oh look, here she comes!" Iridessa announced excitedly. She pointed to a pinprick of light as it pierced the heavy snowfall on the winter side. The five girls waited anxiously as the speck of light kept growing and growing. Each one was desperate to know what happened. The light grew brighter and it began to take shape. Closer and closer it came. Vidia pulled out her betting sheet, Iridessa started biting her nails, Fawn played with her ponytail, Silvermist jumped up and down giddily and Tinker Bell's hands started to shake. The moment of truth had finally arrived.

Or had it.

"Are you sure that's her?" Tink asked.

"I see the red in her dress," Iridessa answered.

"Uh…, anyone notice the blonde hair?" Vidia pointed out in her usually snarky way.

"Maybe she changed her hair color?" Silvermist offered.

"Maybe you'll have a double digit I.Q. one of these days," Vidia shot back.

"Never mind, guys, it's just Viola," Fawn said.

"Aww…, and I was about ready to explode," Tink added.

Viola flew passed them, slowing down only to look at the girls and quirk a disapproving eyebrow. Then she flew on to the Pixie Dust Tree.

"Oh no, what if the queen finds out?" Iridessa asked nervously.

"She's number seven on the betting sheet," Vidia said.

Iridessa gasped, horrified. "The queen would never do that!"

"Viola would," Vidia replied with a smug look.

"Relax guys, I'm pretty sure we're safe out here," Tinker Bell told them reassuringly. The five girls returned to their spots at the border. Vidia put the betting sheet back in her pocket and poured another cup of tea.

"So what about you, Vidia," Silvermist asked.

"What about me?"

"Are you seeing anyone special?"

"Sil, there isn't a sparrow man alive who is worthy of sharing my bed," she said with a huff.

"What about a fairy?" Silvermist queried.

*WHAP!* Vidia slapped her silly.

"OW!" Sil yelped rubbing the side of her head. "Why did you hit me?"

Tinker Bell chuckled and then answered Sil's question. "Vidia doesn't fly that way and she hates it when anyone suggests that she does."

"Oh…, sorry."

"Hummph, water talents," was all Vidia would say. She refused to dignify Sil's apology.

"So wait, you mean you've never been with a guy?" Fawn asked, looking rather confused.

"Oh, I indulge my urges just fine, thank you very much," the flyer answered. "I just don't need a regular 'boyfriend' to keep me warm at nights."

Tinker Bell scowled at Vidia. "Oh don't get me wrong," the flyer added. "I'm sure it's fine for anyone who likes that sort of thing. It's just not for me."

"I thought you said no sparrow man was worthy of your bed?" Fawn said pointing out the incongruity.

"I'll notch them in my bed post, but they won't stay any longer than is necessary to quench the fires of my libido," Vidia answered back. "When I'm ready to have a little fun, I pick out my target. Tease them coyly…"

"You? Coy?" Tinker Bell laughed with disbelief.

"It's called seduction! It's an art form," Vidia growled. "Anyway. Once I get him back to my place, I give that lucky guy the thrill of a lifetime and then kick his sorry wings out the door."

The other four just looked at her with eyes wide and mouths agape. They couldn't believe how callous she could be.

"If I'm feeling generous that night or if he's particularly good in bed, he might get a double helping. But that's _all_ he'll get."

The others were completely astonished. This was a side of Vidia they never knew.

"Glad I'm not a guy," Iridessa said. "I'd hate to be led into believing I was someone special and then kicked to the curb like that."

"Oh they're all special," Vidia corrected, "until they're not."

"You know, Vidia, maybe if you tried to make a few friends instead of just looking for one night stands you might find someone," Tinker Bell helpfully suggested. "Look at Terence and me. We started as friends and our relationship is rock solid."

"I'll be your friend," Silvermist offered, not quite understanding what it meant in context.

"Okay, that's it. Next time I see that ticking crocodile, it's feeding time," Vidia snarled.

Silvermist snickered. "Gotcha." Maybe she did understand it after all.

"Good one, Sil," Iridessa congratulated, sharing a high five with the water fairy.

"Okay, fine. She got me there. But no more jokes like that. I hate them."

Fawn, however, stared at Vidia with a sly grin. "Latent," she said, teasingly. "Maybe the gossip mongers are right."

"Oh you think so, animal girl? Well, you should hear what they're saying about you?"

"Wait, WHAT?! What are they saying about me?" Fawn demanded angrily.

The others started chuckling. Vidia had turned it all around and now had poor Fawn in her clutches. They watched as the fast flyer squeezed and made the animal fairy squirm.

"Well, they say you're such a tomboy that you need a girly girl to provide you comfort," Vidia said with a smirk. "Maybe someone like Silvermist or Iridessa."

"Hey, leave me out of this," Dessa protested. Sil, on the other hand, just sat back and enjoyed the fireworks.

"HAH! Shows what you know," Fawn insisted.

"Well, illuminate us," Tinker Bell said.

"I'm not a typical girl," Fawn started.

"HA! she's admitted it," Vidia said. "The gossipers were right." The other three burst into laughter. Fawn just glared and shot daggers at the flyer.

"Ignore her," Tinker Bell suggested. "Keep going."

"Okay. Look, I'm not the damsel in distress type," Fawn said describing her personality. "I'm a can do kind of girl. I get dirty, I play hard and it can make most guys feel intimidated. Some want a girly girl like Silvermist. Others want someone who is capable, but not intimidatingly so like Tinker Bell, no offense."

"None taken," Tink answered.

"But you just don't find many guys who like girls like me. I'm too rough and tumble." Fawn started looking a little down. "I don't need a stable relationship right now. But when I do I want a guy who can keep up with me. Who isn't afraid to get slimy or dirty or stinky. Y'know, skunk training and all. I need a sparrow man's sparrow man. The only one like that I've ever met is Lord Milori. Not exactly a good prospect."

Fawn sat down and sighed. "I put myself into my work so much because I'm lonely. And I'm always going to be lonely. Work is all I have to make me feel good. That and you guys. You're my friends. We have plenty of fun and adventure together. But when I go home tonight, I'll still be no closer to finding that guy than I was yesterday or last century."

"What about Buck?" Silvermist asked gently. "He likes you very much."

"Until I pinned him in an impromptu game of wrestling last month," Fawn painfully admitted. "Now he won't talk to me."

"Maybe you should stop wrestling guys and start sleeping with them," Vidia said in her usual snide tone.

Fawn sighed even deeper. "But that's what I _want_ in a guy. Someone who thinks it is fun to wrestle. Who'll toss me over if I pin him and will try to pin me to the ground. I find a guy who can do that, I'll know I've met Mr. Right."

"Aw, poor thing," Silvermist consoled. "Ooohh, I think I know someone who just might be what you're looking for."

"Really? Who?"

"Stump at the Pixie Dust Depot."

"DYA-AH!" Iridessa shouted. "Oops, sorry."

"Wait a minute. You like Stump?" Tinker Bell asked.

"…yeah. Sort of. I mean, I've never actually told him," the light talent fairy said.

Tinker Bell took Iridessa's hands and said. "I'll talk to Terence. Maybe he can set up a double date. The two of us with you and Stump."

"Really? Oh, thank you, Tinker Bell." Iridessa hugged her friend in gratitude.

"Any other bright ideas, Sil?" Vidia asked.

"Hmmm…, well there is one other person who might be what you're looking for," she said.

"Who?" Fawn asked.

"Okay, don't laugh. Bobble."

"Bobble?" Tinker Bell questioned.

"But he's dating Gliss in the Winter Woods," Fawn pointed out.

"Bobble?" Tink said again.

"Not exclusively," Silvermist pointed out. "It's always been a casual arrangement."

"Bobble?"

"Yes, Tink, 'Bobble'," Vidia said sarcastically. "Now let's see if we can learn our C's and D's. Can you say 'Clank'?"

"Ooooh that reminds me, Vidia. Word has it that Clank has a crush on you," Silvermist revealed.

"HE WHAT!?" the flyer shouted. "That…, that…, fat…, ugly…, s-smelly…, dimwitted tinker has taken a shine to me? No way! Not in a million years! Not ever!"

"Well, it's not confirmed, but he does tend to look wistfully at you," Sil said.

"Ooh, I can already feel my skin crawl," Vidia whimpered.

Fawn looked at her water fairy friend and shook her head. "Thanks, Sil, but I'm not going to poach someone else's guy. I'll just wait." Silvermist gave her friend a big hug in consolation.

"What about you, Silvermist?" Iridessa asked. "Since everyone is confessing."

"Oh, I've got plenty of time before I'm ready to settle down with a nice guy," she said. "I still want to play with the fish and have fun at Lizzy's. Being single is being free. Besides, I've got a lot of learning and growing up to do."

"I'll say," Vidia muttered.

"I want to get my Ph.D."

"Your what?" Iridessa asked.

"My Ph.D."

"Uh…, humans get college diplomas, not fairies," Vidia helpfully pointed out.

Silvermist laughed. "Dr. Griffiths let me read some books about fish that swim in the waters beyond the mainland. It was so fascinating. I started reading every book he could find for me on the subject."

"So how does that translate into a Ph.D.?" Tinker Bell pressed.

"Well, Lizzy offered to enroll on my behalf at a university where the work could be done through the mail," she said. "It's called a 'correspondence course.' I studied all the books, did all the homework and sent them in to be graded under a human name Lizzy helped me pick out. Misty Silver."

"And…,"

"Well, when it came time to take the exams, Lizzy and her father drove me to one of the local universities in London where they were proctoring them," Silvermist continued. "She designed a hat where I could hide, still see the test and whisper my answers into her ear. I graduated with something called, Summa Cum Laude, whatever that is."

Silvermist had graduated at the top of her class and didn't even realize it. Everyone's mouths just dropped. A fly could have flown in and no one would have cared.

"Well, anyway. I earned a Bachelor's degree in science in Marine Biology. Then a Master's Degree. And now I'm two classes from earning my Ph.D. Of course, I guess I cheated since I'm a water fairy."

"U-uh. Wow!" was all Fawn could muster at the news.

"So-o, you're going to be doctor?" Vidia asked.

"Yes," Silvermist replied.

"Good, because I've got this thing on my butt and it just won't go away."

"Vidia! Stop! This is great news, Sil" Tinker Bell said. "When you get your Doctorate we'll throw you a party."

"It's always the quite ones, isn't it?" Fawn said to Iridessa.

Silvermist looked to the light fairy, and with a disarming smile said, "You're next, Dessa. What's your story?"

"Uh…, well. I don't actually have one."

"That's true," Vidia answered. "The gossipers don't even care about her."

"REALLY!" Iridessa said excitedly. Then, with a more dejected tone, "Really?"

"Whoa, now there was a whiplash," Fawn said. "Why the sudden change of heart? I thought you liked that everyone knows you follow the rules?"

"I do, but, well…," Dessa sputtered.

"You want people to think you would do something, even though you actually wouldn't," Vidia summarized.

"Yeah, that's it. Does it make any sense?"

"Not to me it doesn't," Tinker Bell answered.

"THERE SHE IS!" Dessa screamed.

Indeed, the garden fairy was winging her way to the border. No one could tell what happened by looks alone. Rosetta was always keen on her appearance. When she finally reached the border she stopped on the winter side and narrowed her eyes.

"What are you girls doing here?" she asked them in her thick American southern accent.

"Oh, just happy you made it back across the border," Fawn said, stumbling over a few words.

"Uh huh," the garden fairy replied. "You heard that Sled and I might consummate our relationship. Well it's none of your business. So if you will make way, I have to change into my warm weather clothes and get to work, _which is where you all should be_."

"So nothing happened?" Tink asked coyly.

"I'm a proper garden fairy, Tink, you know that," Rosetta admonished. "What I did or didn't do, I will never tell. It's between me and Sled."

"And the snowy owls if they were flying around," Vidia whispered to Silvermist who grinned.

As the garden fairy slipped passed, Vidia grabbed something from Rosetta's coat pocket. It was a pair of red, lacy, see-thru undies. Vidia started twirling them on the tips of her fingers and said, "Traditionally, these are worn _under_ your clothes."

"Give me that!" Rosetta screamed. She snatched away the undies and put them back in her pocket. "You keep your nose out of my panties."

That made all five of the other girls crack up. Rosetta flew on by. Tink and her friends noticed that while her front looked fine, Rosetta's back didn't. The garden fairy's neck was so pocked with hickeys it looked like a relief map of the Andes. Her hair was a knotted mess full of bunny fur, weasel hair, a snowy owl pinfeather and lots of pine needles. The back of her coat was sopping wet and flecked with dirt, pebbles, clumps of melting snow and littered with grass stains.

"Wow, where did it happen?" Tinker Bell asked.

"I think the shorter answer would be, 'where _didn't_ it happen'?" Fawn replied. "I just hope poor Sled survived the experience."

Rosetta had to stop and hitch up her dress and silk stockings. The dress was on backwards… the stockings inside out.

"I think that's a 'yes'," Vidia said, imagining all the pixie dust she had won. The other girls just broke down into peals of laughter.

So much for prim and proper.

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**I hope you enjoyed this little bit of silliness.**


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